Alone or Not?

Time will tell.  Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself.  I've always been sort of a loner; maybe comes from being an only child.  Looking waaaay back I guess I did enjoy moms clothes in the 10-14 age range when alone.  Then in early 20's, before I even knew about transgender, I always wanted to be made love to by a female.  I wanted to stay male, have a regular GFE, but end up on the bottom.  After marriage, I have had recurring dreams of waking up on a chilly morning with my M2F, TG, partner, snuggling in bed.  I guess I have thought for many years there may be a latent female side within me.  This year I did what I said I'd never do, and paid to visit a Tgurl.  I am impotent, and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience, thereby confirming my bi side.  Males do NOT interest me.  I really like the softness of the female, the touch, caress, manner, etc.  I'd like to experience that, but with my female side.  Yes, I am larger, 5'8" and 215#.  I have always liked taller women, too.  I am shy, but real and sincere.  I have a great sense of humor.  I have ADD and my wife is quite controlling - we have had no intimacy in 8+ years.  I'd like to have help in seeing how I would look as LaRayne Jean.  I have nothing but 2 pair of pantihose now. I got nerve to join here and see if I really am alone in my thinking and to see if there is anyone that would care enough to meet a fun person and maybe develpo a new friend or girlfriend.  Most of you girls have gone through soooooo much to get where you are and I really admire you.  Most are so attractive, too.